To have effective Rapport with clients it is important to know what your body is doing and what it is capable of. Moshe Feldenkrais used to say “to do what you want you have to know what you are doing. Some of the limits in knowing what you are doing are from lack of attention and awareness, some are from lack of ability to move in certain ways due to long time habits of movement (from in the womb, infancy, childhood development patterns, injuries,etc.) that have welded themselves almost permanently into your body structure, but not permanently thank the heavens. Changeability of structure is a new and emerging concept for some, isn’t it.
In a recent email to a client:
What I got from our last meeting is that besides wanting changes in your body and in your experience of your body, you are wanting to be successful in your business and how you relate to people without having to feel fearful. Am I getting this right? I imagine there is more, so let me know at our next meeting.
From the way I heard you describe it, you are currently using a simple dominance technique which has been effective and has clearly worked for you, but it is only one of many possible stances and it takes a lot of energy, doesn’t it. What if there were other simpler, easy to learn techniques that will surely yield better, quicker results, and have everyone feel less fearful and more empowered, that is a real win-win scenario? There are!
I know that you are never going to allow a lose-win scenario, why should you, right. I imagine you don’t want a win-lose either if you can help it now. Clearly you want and need to lead your conversations. Leading works. Clearly you will want to know where you are on the alpha-dominance scale. I am guessing you are now starting with near maximum dominance. Unfortunately, too much dominance gets the results but can breed resentment and the feeling on the dominated persons part of having lost, can’t it.
Appropriately being alpha to someone creates trust, confidence, and respect while getting you exactly what you need, and takes so much less energy on everyone’s part. Rapport skills help you get there and to the place of real win-win now.
If this is making sense to you now, you might want to look at a couple of these websites for some insights into rapport and rapport skills for our next meeting.
http://www.cleanlanguage.co.uk/rapport1.html
http://www.cleanlanguage.co.uk/rapport2.html
Also, I think you might want to check out Mastering Wealth Through Relationships Dec 3-5 2010 at
http://jeffandkane.com/events/mastering-wealth-through-relationships
Put S001 (that is S, numeral zero, numeral zero, 1) in the promo code area and you will get the opportunity of a much decreased investment for the course.
I help Jeff and Kane out and help co-lead the movement sections of their weekends.